The First thing I want to say is that, I’m sorry for being an ABSOLUTE MYTH.
The past 2 years have been really hard for me but I have been making a speedy recovery. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of good times and I have had a lot of fun.
My site has really suffered with me posting no content whatsoever, but I don’t think I have been in the right head space to start posting again.
I think a lot of people have been going through what I have been through and a lot of people are still going through it now.
I have been depressed for the past year or so. In all honesty I don’t think I am anymore. I haven’t been depressed in ages. Also I wasn’t that depressed. I’m a happy person and there are people who are suffering way worse than me. But I fell off hard and got stuck in a rut by procrastinating with a sort of lack of motivation. I just didn’t know how to get the wheel moving and strart picking up the pieces to forward my career and my life.
The thing is I’m a happy person in general and when I was depressed, I wasn’t suicidal or anything like that, I just crashed, I was just overwhelmed with a lot of things going on in my life.
I’m not in any education and I don’t have a solid job and my plans for this website have fallen apart from setbacks getting a business grant, which was behind all of this fucking bollocks.
But I’m going to give it one massive stab at it to try and get it. If I don’t get this grant, I either have to rob a bank, sell drugs or get a job in Tesco and work there for the rest of my life because at the moment I still feel like I’m fucked and I don’t know how I’m going to better my career. I’m 21 and I still think I’m in the same place, since I started this blog when I was 16. I think I have improved as a person & matured etc., but I thought I would have achieved a lot more by now, with all the hard work I have put in. It literally has been, blood, sweat and tears and it has killed me.
I’m guessing there are a lot of young people in my predicament and they don’t even know what they want to do with their lives. Lucky enough for me, I know what I want to do with my life. I just feel a bit lost with how I’m going to get there.
I think I just needed a bit of support to fast track myself and get the wheels moving to better this website and start the projects I have planned.
The thing is, this website has been my life for the past 5 years, I have posted and written about my passions; Fashion, Music, Partying, Gaming & the backbone of this site GRIME.
My Passion has never died for Grime music and it never will.
Even though I haven’t been posting, I still have been listening to a lot of it.
I also didn’t really want to write on my website that I was depressed and that I fell off but I belive I’m a voice for young people and I think people who are suffering from depression need to read this and know they are not alone.
From now on the work will be very consistent and watch out for my Mixtape coming out soon – ‘Chopping & Not Flopping’. which is going to be a chopped & screwed mixtape which I’m going to be giving away for free through Mrtremix.co.uk All the tracks have been done live. Most people use a production program but I would rather do it live :).
Hopefully it will be out in a few weeks so watch out for it!
I’m fine now and I’m slowly but surely getting back on track. Watch out for my upcoming projects and the regular posts.
Take Care & Stay Safe !